Motherhood 7 Weeks In

May 2, 2013
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IMG_6378I can’t believe it’s already been 7 weeks since Elroy was born.  Motherhood so far is all-encompassing and oh very complex that it’s hard to put into words.  It’s as true as the clichés that you read about in magazines and books but also unlike anything that I expected.

The first few weeks were very surreal.  Leaving Birth Care in the morning just a few hours after giving birth.  It was about 7 in the morning and people were starting to come to work.  I remember zoning out to the rest of the world and my focus on Elroy and getting him safely to the car.  At Birth Care, I slept but not a very deep sleep despite being up all night.  It’s like the mother’s instinct kicking in.  I can sleep but not so deeply that I can’t be there for Elroy.

There have been many frustrating moments.  I spent the first few weeks pouring through blogs documenting the first few weeks with a newborn.  I made comparisons.  I bought the Baby Whisperer’s book trying to find a way to give structure to our days.  When it didn’t work, I got mad.  I remember sobbing in the middle of the night after attempting to put Elroy to bed for 2 hours and failing.  Motherhood is a cliche in that it is really hard as everyone says.  I was doing well as everyone said.  90% of the time I was calm and collected.  But the remaining 10% is full of self doubt, guilt, and frustration.  I’m getting a lot more help than everyone else with my mom staying.  How am I going to cope alone?

Then somewhere in the next few weeks, things got better.  It’s like Elroy and I got to know each other.  We somehow figured out a nighttime routine that works for us.  Feed, change diaper, feed, and rock quickly to sleep.  It’s not easy getting up multiple times in the middle of the night, but at least now we know what to expect.

One of the most difficult aspects for me has been the lack of a schedule.  I’m desperate for routine and structure.  This is purely for selfish reasons so that I can schedule in things like exercise and coffee dates or even a trip to the store.  I remember taking Elroy to the grocery store when he was only a week old because I selfishly wanted to leave the house.  He was so uncomfortable in the car.

I’ve spent the majority of this week cooped up inside.  The weather is beautiful but Elroy has a cold so I’m taking extra precaution and keeping him inside.  This means I’m also stuck inside.  It’s not easy, but a small sacrifice to put an end to the sniffles.

But one smile from Elroy makes everything worth it.

On Being Pregnant

March 6, 2013
Life, Uncategorized
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IMG_596239 Weeks and 5 days pregnant as at Today.  The last post that I wrote was almost 9 months ago or really at the start of my pregnancy.

Being pregnant is like being on a roller coaster.  I want to reflect on this experience as it really is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.  And I know as time passes, you tend to forget.  So here goes.

First Trimester

I didn’t even realize I was pregnant until I started feeling sick.  Along with that came new sensations such as a strong whiff of someone’s perfume in the lift as well as the smell of food as I walked down the street.  I woke up one Saturday morning and went to the supermarket to buy a pregnancy test.  It came back positive.  In disbelief, I bought another test and it also came back positive.  Still in disbelief, I went to the Doctor who confirmed the pregnancy.  Well- I finally accepted that I was pregnant.

I spent the first 18 weeks consumed by nausea and throwing up daily.  I have a weird phobia about throwing up directly into the toilet so I threw up every night into an ice cream bucket.  The nausea was okay in the morning but got progressively worse as the days passed.  I switched my meals around so I was having salads and protein for breakfast to make sure that I was getting enough nutrients.  I spent most evenings barely able to keep any food down regardless of the fact that I was hungry.

I didn’t start to get excited until our second scan at 13 weeks.  There’s an actual baby growing inside of me.  I can see the head and the spine.  It’s now getting real.

Second Trimester

The nausea passed by 18 weeks which gave me a new burst of energy.  I also told everyone at work which was a huge relief.  Our families were beyond thrilled.  I don’t think my parents ever thought that they would be grandparents.

We found out at our 20 week scan and we’re having a boy.  I was so sure that we were having a girl, but the scan confirmed that it’s definitely a boy.

With the nausea gone, I started eating as I used to before I fell pregnant.  But I found that if I ate too much, then I was back to throwing up as my stomach had shrunk.  But really, after 18 weeks of throwing up, this was nothing.

Third Trimester

I envisioned that I would be so much bigger by the third trimester.  But it’s only in the last couple of weeks that I started to “pop.”  I’m really starting to feel the pregnancy with the bump getting bigger and bigger.

Sleeping is a challenge as I sleep with a giant body pillow as well as a normal pillow tucked between the legs.  Despite this, I spend all night tossing and turning.   I also wake up several times a night to go use the bathroom.  And the heat…it’s the middle of the summer and I don’t even bother sleeping with a duvet anymore.

Although I have a ton of energy in the morning, by the afternoon I’m definitely feeling tired.  I have been leaving work at 5PM on the dot.  I’ve been off work for 2 weeks now for some much needed rest.

I miss working out hard.  I miss going for jogs which have now turned into walks.  I miss being able to sleep on my back.  I am also running out of clothes to wear as the bump gets bigger every day.

D is working hard on the renovations.  Since we found out, he finished the main bedroom, toilet, and we’re now working on the bathroom.  The house is looking better and better each day.  My nesting instinct has kicked in hard and I spend my weekends cleaning and organizing.  I just want everything to be perfect.

It’s not long to go now and we’re both getting really excited.  I can’t wait to meet him and introduce him to the rest of the world.

New York City

June 17, 2012
Travel
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I can’t believe that It’s been a month since we’ve been back from our holiday.  I’ve been a bit lazy and putting off writing on this blog.  But I’m keen to continue to write as it’s a nice way to look back as we tend to forget the little things in life.

New York was amazing.  I wanted to visit New York because it seems like so much more than a city. It’s the setting of so many movies and books.  It’s often a character in itself in stories and blogs.  It seems to be a place where writer flock to.  It seems to be a place where you can be totally anonymous but somebody at the same time.

I knew that I wanted the experience of living in New York City.  So we opted to rent an apartment from a reputable letting agency rather than an expensive hotel in Manhattan.  We ended up with a cute studio in Long Island City, Queens which is only a 7 minute subway ride to Manhattan.  And it ended up being 50% cheaper.

I loved the vibe of Long Island City.  It was mellow, the people were cool, and had a real community feel.  We also spent a bit of time in Brooklyn which was also really awesome.  I loved the old brownstone buildings with views of Manhattan.

Some trends I noticed in NYC:

  • French bulldogs.  I thought it was hilarious that a breed of dog is so trendy that every other dog you see is a French Bulldog.
  • Cupcakes.  Cupcakes everywhere in different themes and all sorts of flavors.
  • Toms vegan shoes.  They cost about ~$50 for a really basic pair of cloth shoes, but the idea is that all the profits go to charity.
  • Hipsters.  I talked about this in the last post of Downtown LA, but it was even more prevalent in NY.  In my opinion, Hipsters are those who mastered the art of trying not to look like you tried too hard (if that makes any sense).

My personal highlights from the trip:

  • Cindy Sherman exhibition at MOMA.  I first studied Cindy Sherman in high school and it’s interesting to have a look at her work now 10 plus year later as an adult and it makes so much more sense.
  • Our apartment in Long Island City.  It was such a cute place with good access to public transport.
  • Waking up in the morning, walking down to the local Deli for a Peanut Butter and Jam toasted Bagel with a big coffee for less than $5.00.  There will never be anywhere in Auckland where I can get the same.
  • Catching up with my friend Alex and hanging out in Brooklyn.  We went to a really neat concert with trapeze artists performing to a band.  Way cool.

A tourist in my hometown

April 28, 2012
Travel, Uncategorized
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I’ve been living in New Zealand coming up to 10 years. Although I come back once a year to visit my family, I haven’t lived here for a long time and the place has definitely changed. I know that I’ve also changed in the sense that I’m now in my early 30′s with responsibilities and a few more life experiences. But it’s still a strange feeling to feel like a tourist in my own home town.

D and I took the bus Today and went to Downtown LA. The place has changed so much since I left 10 years ago. It’s still littered with little shops around the fashion district and a wide array of ethic and fast food joints around the streets. But there is also a group of “hipsters” who live in the renovated lofts in Downtown LA walking their dogs especially around Gallery Row.

We had an amazing day walking around Downtown LA, taking random photos on Instagram and of course people watching. Some of the highlights from Today include:

  • St. Vincent’s Court- A little alleyway off Hill Street with a cluster of Greek restaurants and really cute looking buildings.
  • Hive Gallery- I saw the coolest paining of a bear dressed like a gangster.\
  • Raw Spicy Tuna Roll- made with almonds instead of rice. Tastes surprisingly like real sushi.
  • Dogs everywhere. A couple walking 3 bull dogs told us that all the apartments in the area allow dogs and there is a good community of dog lovers.

One thing is for sure. I need to go back and have another look at Downtown LA as one afternoon is not enough to soak up the atmosphere of the area.

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Cinnamon Blondies

April 9, 2012
Food
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There is something about baking that is very soothing.  Maybe it’s the mixing of the ingredients with exact precision or maybe it’s the aroma of cinnamon and vanilla in the air.  Either way, I find baking to be quite theraputic.

So I made these Cinnamon Blondies with the intention of baking cookies. But once I mixed everything through, the batter was way too runny for cookies. I just put the whole batter into a square cake tin and this is the end result. As usual, this is completely grain-free, gluten-free, and low-carb. I really like this recipe as it doesn’t contain any eggs.  A lot of baking with coconut flour or even almond flour often turns out with a strong egg-y taste which a lot of people don’t like. This just tastes like a lot of cinnamon with a hint of almonds.

Cinnamon Blondies

1/3 cup coconut flour sifted
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 tbs cinnamon
45 grams honey (about 3 tablespoons)
250 grams almond butter (about 1 cup)
100 ml coconut milk
150 ml water

  1. Preheat oven to 175ºC.
  2. Combine the dry ingredients- coconut flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt in a bowl.
  3. In a separate bowl combine the wet ingredients- honey, almond butter, coconut milk and water.
  4. Mix the dry into the wet ingredients.
  5. Stir with a wooden spoons until there are no lumps
  6. Grease a square cake tin with butter or coconut oil.
  7. Pour batter into the greased cake tin and spread evenly.
  8. Bake for 20-25 minutes.
  9. Cool on a wire rack.

Makes 24 slices.

Chicken Pot Pie

April 9, 2012
Food
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This recipe used to be called Turkey Pot Pie but since then, I started eating chicken again.  I had a crazy aversion to chicken after a a couple of really bad food poisoning incidents.  It look a while but slowly but surely, I started eating chicken again.

This pie is the definition of comfort food and perfect for those cold winter nights.

Chicken Pot Pie with Almond Flour Crust

For the Filling

2 rashers of bacon, thinly sliced
1 onion chopped
1/2 tbs ghee
200 grams turkey thigh fillets, cut into chunks
1 carrot cut into cubes
1 cup button mushrooms sliced thinly
chicken stock (just enough to cover the turkey mixture)
2 tbs arrowroot (or cornflour)

  1. In a large pan with lid, melt the ghee and sautee the bacon and onion over medium heat.
  2. Add in the turkey thigh pieces, carrots, and mushrooms until cooked through.
  3. Add in just enough chicken stock to cover the turkey mixture.
  4. Make slurry with the arrowroot powder and a little bit of cold water.
  5. Add the slurry into the stock and turkey mixture.
  6. Lower heat and cook until the stock thickens.
  7. Remove from heat and distribute evenly to 2 remekins or small bowls.

For the Crust 

1 1/4 cup almond flour
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 egg
1/4 cup water

  1. Preheat oven to 175°C.
  2. Mix all dry ingredients together.
  3. Mix the egg and the water in a separate bowl.
  4. Combine the dry and the wet ingredients together.
  5. Spread the dough evenly on the ramekins filled with the turkey mixture.
  6. Bake in the oven for 20-25 minutes until the crust is golden.

Makes 2 generous servings.

Creamy Mashed Swede

April 9, 2012
Food
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I recently discovered swedes at my local green grocer. I believe they are called rutabagas in America, but I don’t recall ever seeing it there. They seem to be more commonly available in New Zealand and I can’t believe it took me this long to discover this vegetable. It looks like a cross between a beetroot and turnip with a slightly yellow creamy color with the slightest hint of a deep beetroot like color on the outside.

Compared to a potato, a swede is much lower in calories and carbohydrates making it my new favorite root vegetable. I’m generally not a huge fan of mashed potatoes but I loved the taste of this recipe.  I used macadamia oil which gives it a nutty taste but I’m sure it’ll be just as good with butter.

Creamy Mashed Swede

450 grams swede
1 tbs macadamia oil
1/2 tsp salt

  1. Peel and chop the swede into small cubes.
  2. Boil the cubed swede in water until tender.
  3. Drain.
  4. In a food processor, add in the remaining ingredients and process until smooth.
  5. Serve warm.

Makes 4 rich servings.